I dealt with performance anxiety from the age of 19 - 22. During this time period I felt pretty awful-at least with regards to how things were progressing in the bedroom. I really, really wanted to overcome performance anxiety but I didn't know how.
If you are feeling down in the dumps, it is very hard if not impossible to immediatley being feeling great.
I was really expecting a bit too much of myself, thinking I could instantly and that I should instantly start feeling wonderful.
Tips You Can Use
When you are in the grips of anxiety, feeling a tad bit less awful is all you can really expect from yourself. The great news is that in the long term, if you can consistently concentrate on feeling slightly less terrible about your performance, we will naturally begin to feel slightly more happy.
So how do you start feeling slightly less awful?
The secret of how to cure performance anxiety is that you must understand why you are feeling the negative emotions that you are feeling. Emotions are the result of thoughts. In other words, your thinking creates your emotions.
Most people (myself included not too long ago) believe that life events, certain experiences make people feel the way the do. For example, many people believe a job promotion will make them feel happy. Or that getting fired will make them feel bad about themselves.
A job promotion does not cause people to feel happy, positive thinking about the promotion will make the person feel happier.
A recent breakup does not cause people to feel sad, negative thoughts regarding the recent break up breed feelings of sadness.
Due to thoughts creating emotions, we can actually control how we feel if we can control how we think. Understanding this is absolutely critical when trying to overcome performance anxiety.
If this seems very foreign to you, so I wouild say re-read the last few paragraphs until its meaning begins to sink in.
If you understand and believe that your thinking creates your emotions, you can start to feel slightly less awful about yourself by thinking in a slightly more positive way.
Slowly Change How You Think and Begin Overcoming Performance Anxiety
For example, after finishing this reading you may think:
“I was awful last night in bed. Is something seriously wrong with me?”
The next time a damaging thought like this pops into your mind, take a second, breathe and change your thinking. Instead of dwelling on the above mentioned thought, re-frame your thinking to something like:
“Last night was not fun. Physically I understand that I am A-OK, I just need to work on my mental game.”
This isn't the most positive thought in the world, however it is certainly a less damaging thought.
Once you begin thinking slightly less terrible thoughts, you will notice that you start feeling slightly less awful as well. It is important that you remain consistent with this throughout time. It may be difficult in the beginning, but with practice you’ll find it becomes much easier.
If you stick with re-framing your thoughts in a slightly less awful manner for the course of a few weeks or months, you will notice a substantial improvement with how you feel. Performance anxiety will diminish with each slightly less terrible thought.
When you feel happier, you will perform better in bed. Less anxiety means improved performance. Overcoming performance anxiety is not impossible, I know this because I myself did it!
If you are feeling down in the dumps, it is very hard if not impossible to immediatley being feeling great.
I was really expecting a bit too much of myself, thinking I could instantly and that I should instantly start feeling wonderful.
Tips You Can Use
When you are in the grips of anxiety, feeling a tad bit less awful is all you can really expect from yourself. The great news is that in the long term, if you can consistently concentrate on feeling slightly less terrible about your performance, we will naturally begin to feel slightly more happy.
So how do you start feeling slightly less awful?
The secret of how to cure performance anxiety is that you must understand why you are feeling the negative emotions that you are feeling. Emotions are the result of thoughts. In other words, your thinking creates your emotions.
Most people (myself included not too long ago) believe that life events, certain experiences make people feel the way the do. For example, many people believe a job promotion will make them feel happy. Or that getting fired will make them feel bad about themselves.
A job promotion does not cause people to feel happy, positive thinking about the promotion will make the person feel happier.
A recent breakup does not cause people to feel sad, negative thoughts regarding the recent break up breed feelings of sadness.
Due to thoughts creating emotions, we can actually control how we feel if we can control how we think. Understanding this is absolutely critical when trying to overcome performance anxiety.
If this seems very foreign to you, so I wouild say re-read the last few paragraphs until its meaning begins to sink in.
If you understand and believe that your thinking creates your emotions, you can start to feel slightly less awful about yourself by thinking in a slightly more positive way.
Slowly Change How You Think and Begin Overcoming Performance Anxiety
For example, after finishing this reading you may think:
“I was awful last night in bed. Is something seriously wrong with me?”
The next time a damaging thought like this pops into your mind, take a second, breathe and change your thinking. Instead of dwelling on the above mentioned thought, re-frame your thinking to something like:
“Last night was not fun. Physically I understand that I am A-OK, I just need to work on my mental game.”
This isn't the most positive thought in the world, however it is certainly a less damaging thought.
Once you begin thinking slightly less terrible thoughts, you will notice that you start feeling slightly less awful as well. It is important that you remain consistent with this throughout time. It may be difficult in the beginning, but with practice you’ll find it becomes much easier.
If you stick with re-framing your thoughts in a slightly less awful manner for the course of a few weeks or months, you will notice a substantial improvement with how you feel. Performance anxiety will diminish with each slightly less terrible thought.
When you feel happier, you will perform better in bed. Less anxiety means improved performance. Overcoming performance anxiety is not impossible, I know this because I myself did it!
